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Monthly Archive for: ‘January, 2018’

Couples & Growth – Part 4

Learn to Self-Soothe in the Face of Conflict We blame our partners when we feel discomfort, and this tends to create distance within an emotionally committed relationship. The distance, then, creates a feeling of further discomfort. The clue to dealing with this dilemma is to learn how to soothe your own emotional pain. This can open the way to more …

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Couples & Growth – Part 3

Being Yourself in a Relationship This means holding onto yourself within a relationship, staying true to what you want out of life while sharing your life with a partner. Differentiation allows us to break free from the negative processes that happen between partners in any relationship. It allows us to take a time out from arguments in order to comfort …

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Couples & Growth – Part 2

Relationships mature over time. The initial attraction may be physical, and this may carry the relationship for some time to the point of making an emotional commitment. Then the excitement and promise of sharing our life with another person can lead to a stage of heightened expectations where we ignore or minimize the discomfort that we may feel from time …

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Couples & Growth- Part 1

Emotionally committed relationships bring excitement and passion into our lives, especially when they are new.  Over time, however, we come across roadblocks based in personal issues that can distance us from our partners.   When we first enter into a committed relationship, we may think that we have found the answer to life’s problems, that we have a partner to share …

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Relationships & Infidelity

Why did s/he cheat on me? Many people ask themselves that question every year. Their self-esteem is destroyed and they ask themselves the larger question: Why? Is it me? Is it him/her? Is it that woman/man? What does s/he have that I don’t? Have we lost touch with one another and grown that far apart? Betrayal is painful!  The process …

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Conflicts & Communication – Part 5

Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have …

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Conflicts & Communication – Part 4

To prevent conflict from happening in the first place, it is important to identify the ways in which we contribute to the disagreement. Most people have no interest in creating conflict with others. Most of us know enough about human behavior to distinguish between healthy communication and the words or actions that contribute to rocky relationships. It is in our …

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Conflicts & Communication – Part 3

Once you find yourself in a conflicted situation with someone else, it is important to reduce the emotional charge from the situation so that you and the other person can deal with your differences on a rational level in resolving the conflict. Defusing The Situation: The other person might be angry and may come to the situation armed with a …

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Conflicts & Communication- Part 2

Healthy Approaches to Conflict Resolution Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. However, there is an underlying principle …

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Conflicts & Communication- Part 1

Relationships with frequent conflict may be healthier than one with no observable conflict. Conflict between people is a fact of life – and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, a relationship with frequent conflict may be healthier than one with no observable conflict. Conflicts occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and …

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