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Author Archive for: ‘Dr. Baya Mebarek’

Resolving Conflicts- Part 4

  When you use dirty fighting techniques to win an argument, both you and your partner ultimately lose! Communication Patterns You Should Avoid: Escalating: Here you quickly move from the main issue of the argument to questioning your partner’s basic personality, and then move on to wondering whether the relationship is even worth it. Timing This involves catching your partner …

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Resolving Conflicts- Part 3

Constructive Relationship Guidelines In addition to reaching a good understanding of the nature of the commitment, there are several other guidelines that can be explored when a couple decides to bring their arguments to a more constructive level. It is better to be close and happy than to be right. Blaming each other and trying to change the other person’s …

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Resolving Conflicts- Part 2

Constructive Relationship Guidelines If arguments begin to have a deteriorating effect on a relationship and no resolution appears in sight, it is time to examine the level of commitment each of the partners has to the relationship. This is sometimes a basic issue that remains unresolved by two partners. People avoid this topic out of fear that their partner may …

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Resolving Conflicts- Part 1

All couples argue. This is a normal and expected part of any relationship. Of course, some relationship experts say that arguing is healthy, while others say beware. While an occasional argument might be unavoidable and can even ultimately clarify boundaries within the relationship, a pattern of habitual fighting left unchecked puts the relationship at risk. Granted, when couples first meet, …

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Couples & Communication- Part 5

LISTEN TO THE CHILDREN Children need to be heard. Listening to children gives them the feeling that they count, that they matter. They can draw on the strength and experience of an adult whom they trust – and they trust those who give them stable and consistent attention. It is during childhood that they develop a level of self-esteem that …

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Couples & Communication- Part 4

A Listening Exercise for Couples Reciprocal listening is a powerful tool for couples who need to improve their communication. Couples who try this may become aware of how limited their communication has been in the past. They also learn an effective technique, which can increase the respect, trust, and intimacy of their relationship. This exercise may seem structured and perhaps …

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Couples & Communication- Part 3

Obstacles to Good Listening Real listening is a skill that takes practice and an honest look into how you deal with the world. If you tend to take a distrustful or combative stance toward other people most of the time, it may be hard to engage in healthy and open listening. The same holds true if you need to please …

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Couples & Communication- Part 2

Become A Good Listener The first step in mastering good listening skills is to become aware of why listening is important in your life and your relationships. And the next step is simply to start doing it. Practice active listening whenever you can. Here are few rules to start the process: – Never interrupt when the other person is speaking. …

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Couples & Communication- Part 1

Listening is the other half of communication. Our first though, when we think about communication, may be to consider the speaker’s ability to convey ideas effectively. What we forget is that without a listener the speaker may as well be talking to the wind. Just as effective speaking is an acquired skill, so is good listening. Some do it better …

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Forgiveness & Relationships- Part 5

Forgiveness “to do” list ____Understand fully that forgiveness does not mean that it is all right for the aggressive behavior to ever be repeated. Forgiveness is meant for past behavior that was unacceptable. ____Give up the unrealistic hope that the perpetrator will apologize, answer your questions or be able to explain why he or she hurt you. Even if apologies …

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