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Marriage counseling, individual therapy, family and child therapy

Choosing to Forgive

This entry is part 3 of 6 in the series Forgiveness

Forgiving the one who caused you harm may seem like the last thing you would want to do. After all, by not forgiving, you can hold onto the belief that you have some power over the perpetrator and that you can therefore prevent the harm from ever happening to you again. Or you may be so invested in playing the …

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The Ways We Are Hurt

This entry is part 2 of 6 in the series Forgiveness

There are many ways of being hurt. Some are minor and some are more severe. In some cases we are the unwitting victim of those who hurt us. At other times we collude in allowing ourselves to suffer by building expectations that make us vulnerable or placing our trust in the wrong places. Whatever the nature of the damage done …

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Relationship and Forgiveness

This entry is part 1 of 6 in the series Forgiveness

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi   All of us have been hurt, in one way or another, by someone else. While it is easy to forgive a friend for the slight distress one feels over a phone call that was not returned, it is not so easy to forgive those …

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Discovering the Sources of Conflict in Your Relationship

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Understanding Relationship Conflicts

Assessing Your Relationship Understanding the sources of conflict in your relationship is one step towards resolving the differences between you. When we can get the problems out in the open and talk about them objectively, we can often find the solutions. Use the list below as a starting point for shedding some light on your relationship conflicts, which may now …

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It Takes Two – An Example of Projections

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Understanding Relationship Conflicts

The process of projection in a relationship is not always one-sided. Things can get complicated when both partners are mutually engaged in this process, which is a common occurrence. It becomes difficult for the partners to see where the problem lies. Take a look at the following example. An Example – Chris and Pat Chris grew up in a household …

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How to Respond to Your Partners Projections

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Understanding Relationship Conflicts

An interesting phenomenon happens when a partner is the recipient of a projection – the one being projected upon. Because this person is trying to smooth out the conflicts, he or she may identify with the projection. So, the couple now begins to define their problem in this way. The person receiving the projection starts to say, “Yes, I have …

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Projections Can Create Conflict in a Relationship

This entry is part 2 of 5 in the series Understanding Relationship Conflicts

Projections It is not only early childhood experiences that cause us to project our unacceptable feelings onto someone else. Friends can have the same effect, as can partners from our previous relationships. This is a process that happens throughout our lives. How many times have we heard someone say, “Treat me for who I am – I am not your …

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Understanding Relationship Conflicts – It Takes Two

This entry is part 1 of 5 in the series Understanding Relationship Conflicts

Relationships are seldom as simple as we would like. They bring out our needs, anxieties, and conflicts with people from our past – parents, friends and former partners. Our relationships with our partners are colored by our own personal legacies. We often react to our partners as if they were someone else – and most of the time this causes …

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Working on Intimate Communication

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Truth and Honesty in Our Relationships

Many couples go for months or years without having deep and intimate talks. They live with silence and feel emotionally estranged from the person to whom they have committed themselves. They want the closeness they expected when their relationship began, but they don’t know how to get there. The walls seem too high. They hope that something magical will happen, …

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Listening to the Truth

This entry is part 3 of 5 in the series Truth and Honesty in Our Relationships

If you want your partner to be honest with you, you have to be a good listener. Communication is a two-way process. A good listener – is nonjudgmental and open-minded; doesn’t jump to conclusions; understands that the truth comes out a little at the time, not all at once; doesn’t try to impose his or her personal version of the …

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