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Category Archive for: ‘bicultural couples therapy’

Avoiding & Diffusing Tantrums

TIPS TO AVOID & DIFFUSE TANTRUMS: – Give choices. Say “you have to eat vegetables but which would you want carrots or broccoli? “ Choices empower your child and feelings of empowered helps decrease frustrations that leads to tantrums. – Prepare your child for what to expect. Say “we are leaving to go grocery shopping in 15 minutes.” – Set …

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Making Your Birth Order Work For You

INFLUENCE OF BIRTH ORDER – Part 4 Some Hints for… First-Borns You can have high standards and expectations without being a perfectionist. Try loosening up a bit, and don’t expect that others should adhere to the same standards that you set for yourself. Learn to set up some good boundaries for yourself when others expect you to do things. You …

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Birth Order & Relationship

THE INFLUENCE OF BIRTH ORDER – Part 3 How does all of this affect our choice of a partner? The best bet when deciding on a partner is to choose someone with a birth order unlike our own so that we can benefit from the strengths of someone who has learned a different set of strategies for dealing with life. …

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The Influence Of Birth Order

THE INFLUENCE OF THE BIRTH ORDER – Part 2 The First Born While parents of the first newborn are usually responsible and diligent, they are also tentative, anxious, and inconsistent – and to make up for this they may be demanding, strict, and overprotective. Research shows that first-borns talk and walk before children who are born later. As first-borns grow …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 5

Understanding the sources of conflict in your relationship is one step towards resolving the differences between you. When we can get the problems out in the open and talk about them objectively, we can often find the solutions. Use the list below as a starting point for shedding some light on your relationship conflicts, which may now be hidden but …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 4

The process of projection in a relationship is not always one-sided. Things can get complicated when both partners are mutually engaged in this process – and this is a common occurrence. It becomes difficult for the partners to see where the problem lies. Take a look at the following example. An Example – Chris and Pat Chris grew up in …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 3

An interesting phenomenon happens when a partner is the recipient of a projection – the one being projected upon. Because this person is trying to smooth out the conflicts, he or she may identify with the projection. So, the couple now begins to define their problem in this way. The person receiving the projection starts to say, “Yes, I have …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 2

It is not only early childhood experiences that cause us to project our unacceptable feelings onto someone else. Friends can have the same effect, as can partners from our previous relationships. This is a process that happens throughout our lives. How many times have we heard someone say, “Treat me for who I am – I am not your former …

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Is Loneliness a Problem for You? A Quiz

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Understanding Loneliness

Answer the following questions. If you have more “yes” than “no” answers, you might find it helpful to start the process of alleviating your loneliness. Do You Feel … 1.That you are not in tune with the people around you? 2.That you lack companionship? 3.There is no one you can turn to? 4.Alone? 5.That you are not part of a …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 1

Relationships are seldom as simple as we would like. They bring out our needs, anxieties, and conflicts with people from our past – parents, friends, and former partners. When we enter into a relationship we expect to be loved just for being who we are. A relationship should provide a safe zone where our partner values us for expressing our …

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