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Category Archive for: ‘conflict resolution’

Creating a Sucessful Relationship

This is the first post in our series on “Working Alone to Improve Your Relationship” You Can Create a Successful Relationship – Even If You Must Do It Alone Conflicts can be expected to arise in even the strongest of relationships. Two people who attempt to create a relationship always bring their own issues, backgrounds, expectations, personalities, and inner difficulties …

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Arguing Constructively: Dirty Fighting

marriage counseling: couple arguing

When you use dirty fighting techniques to win an argument, both you and your partner ultimately lose! Communication Patterns You Should Avoid   Escalating Here you quickly move from the main issue of the argument to questioning your partner’s basic personality, and then move on to wondering whether the relationship is even worth it. Timing This involves catching your partner …

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Arguing Constructively: Constructive Relationship Guidelines

Constructive Relationship Guidelines In addition to reaching a good understanding of the nature of the commitment, there are several other guidelines that can be explored when a couple decides to bring their arguments to a more constructive level. It is better to be close and happy than to be right. Blaming each other and trying to change the other person’s …

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Arguing Constructively: Clarify Your Level of Commitment to the Relationship

Constructive Relationship Guidelines If arguments begin to have a deteriorating effect on a relationship and no resolution appears in sight, it is time to examine the level of commitment each of the partners has to the relationship. This is sometimes a basic issue that remains unresolved by two partners. People avoid this topic out of fear that their partner may …

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Couples Arguing Constructively

A Good Argument Has Its Up Side – But Only If We Fight Fairly All couples argue. This is a normal and expected part of any relationship. Of course, some relationship experts say that arguing is healthy, while others say beware. While an occasional argument might be unavoidable and can even ultimately clarify boundaries within the relationship, a pattern of …

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Healing a relationship after infidelity

Why did s/he cheat on me? Many people ask themselves that question every year. Their self-esteem is destroyed and they ask themselves the larger question: Why? Is it me? Is it him/her? Is it that woman/man? What does s/he have that I don’t? Have we lost touch with one another and grown that far apart? Betrayal is painful!  The process …

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Preventing harm in your relationship

One of the most concerning patterns that I have noticed in several of the struggling couples I have been working with lately is that they have an apathetic attitude toward their relationships. They feel that if they pretend that “we are doing fine”, they will not have to do the hard work to change the relationship. They are often not …

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Harmful ways to deal with anger

Throughout the western world, the popular wisdom has for many years been that anger should be expressed. It was seen as healthy. Clients were often advised even by therapists, to release, even unleash, their anger without any regard to the consequences on relationships. Anger was described by many psychotherapists as a strong feeling that when unexpressed, could be internalized and …

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Is Your Relationship Healthy?

Is the communication between you and your partner open or a constant issue? Do you try to fix or control one another? Do you feel distant and/or disconnected? Are you able to express your needs and feelings? Do either of you seem to always have to be right? Are conflicts directly resolved or do they go unresolved? Do you trust …

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Successful Relationships: Myths & Reality

A successful marriage can only happen if first and foremost, the husband and wife are friends. Romance is great, but it fades in and out; so don’t depend on that to keep you together. This perspective contradicts the popular notion that says couples need to be “soul mates,” “in love,” or even “compatible” before marrying. Such sentimental talk ignores the …

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