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Category Archive for: ‘Couples Counseling’

Using Anxiety as a Clue

This entry is part 2 of 5 in the series Dealing With Stress And Anxiety

Anxiety can be helpful when it prompts us to take action to solve a problem. We can use our anxiety as a clue, in fact, that there is a problem, and that we need to confront it. Public speakers, athletes, and entertainers have long known that anxiety can motivate them to perform much better. When we don’t recognize our anxious …

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Stress or Anxiety?

This entry is part 1 of 5 in the series Dealing With Stress And Anxiety

Stress happens when we perceive an event as disturbing or threatening. Our primitive ancestors experienced stress when they had to fight off wild animals, invaders, adverse natural events, and other threats to their survival. These days we are more likely to feel the anxiety that emerges from stress when we face overwhelming responsibilities at work or home, experience loneliness, rejection, …

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Positive Discipline

TIPS FOR POSITIVE DISCIPLINE – Show respect, and focus on the behavior not the child. – Be firm, fair, and consistent. Discipline with love not with frustration. – Do not use physical punishment. It teaches children that violence is acceptable. – Fit the consequences to the behavior. For example if you child color the kitchen counter the consequences should be …

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Making Your Birth Order Work For You

INFLUENCE OF BIRTH ORDER – Part 4 Some Hints for… First-Borns You can have high standards and expectations without being a perfectionist. Try loosening up a bit, and don’t expect that others should adhere to the same standards that you set for yourself. Learn to set up some good boundaries for yourself when others expect you to do things. You …

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Birth Order & Relationship

THE INFLUENCE OF BIRTH ORDER – Part 3 How does all of this affect our choice of a partner? The best bet when deciding on a partner is to choose someone with a birth order unlike our own so that we can benefit from the strengths of someone who has learned a different set of strategies for dealing with life. …

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The Influence Of Birth Order

THE INFLUENCE OF THE BIRTH ORDER – Part 2 The First Born While parents of the first newborn are usually responsible and diligent, they are also tentative, anxious, and inconsistent – and to make up for this they may be demanding, strict, and overprotective. Research shows that first-borns talk and walk before children who are born later. As first-borns grow …

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Birth Order, Behaviors, & Relationships

THE INFLUENCE OF BIRTH ORDER – Part 1 If brothers and sisters are raised by the same parents, how do they end up so different? How is it that one sibling grows up to be successful academically and professionally but with few friends, while another becomes the athlete with loads of friends? To the degree that one of the siblings …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 5

Understanding the sources of conflict in your relationship is one step towards resolving the differences between you. When we can get the problems out in the open and talk about them objectively, we can often find the solutions. Use the list below as a starting point for shedding some light on your relationship conflicts, which may now be hidden but …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 4

The process of projection in a relationship is not always one-sided. Things can get complicated when both partners are mutually engaged in this process – and this is a common occurrence. It becomes difficult for the partners to see where the problem lies. Take a look at the following example. An Example – Chris and Pat Chris grew up in …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 3

An interesting phenomenon happens when a partner is the recipient of a projection – the one being projected upon. Because this person is trying to smooth out the conflicts, he or she may identify with the projection. So, the couple now begins to define their problem in this way. The person receiving the projection starts to say, “Yes, I have …

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