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Category Archive for: ‘Couples Therapy’

Relationship Conflicts – Part 4

The process of projection in a relationship is not always one-sided. Things can get complicated when both partners are mutually engaged in this process – and this is a common occurrence. It becomes difficult for the partners to see where the problem lies. Take a look at the following example. An Example – Chris and Pat Chris grew up in …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 3

An interesting phenomenon happens when a partner is the recipient of a projection – the one being projected upon. Because this person is trying to smooth out the conflicts, he or she may identify with the projection. So, the couple now begins to define their problem in this way. The person receiving the projection starts to say, “Yes, I have …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 2

It is not only early childhood experiences that cause us to project our unacceptable feelings onto someone else. Friends can have the same effect, as can partners from our previous relationships. This is a process that happens throughout our lives. How many times have we heard someone say, “Treat me for who I am – I am not your former …

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Is Loneliness a Problem for You? A Quiz

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Understanding Loneliness

Answer the following questions. If you have more “yes” than “no” answers, you might find it helpful to start the process of alleviating your loneliness. Do You Feel … 1.That you are not in tune with the people around you? 2.That you lack companionship? 3.There is no one you can turn to? 4.Alone? 5.That you are not part of a …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 1

Relationships are seldom as simple as we would like. They bring out our needs, anxieties, and conflicts with people from our past – parents, friends, and former partners. When we enter into a relationship we expect to be loved just for being who we are. A relationship should provide a safe zone where our partner values us for expressing our …

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Breaking the Loneliness Cycle

This entry is part 3 of 5 in the series Understanding Loneliness

We create a reality for ourselves that determines how others view us. Other people observe this reality and use it to define us. Then they act toward us on the basis of that assessment. So, if we see ourselves as lonely people who are trapped in a cycle of isolation, others will also see us that way and will treat …

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The Effects of Loneliness

This entry is part 1 of 5 in the series Understanding Loneliness

Physical pain alerts us to the need to take action to end the pain. Social pain in the form of loneliness tells us to end our isolation. Indeed, functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) of the brain indicates that the same region of the brain is activated when a person feels rejection as when they feel physical pain. Research has found …

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Resilience & Dealing With Emotional Pain

This entry is part 4 of 4 in the series The Resilient Personality

When a person undergoes a life disruption, it may not advisable to take medication that will alleviate the pain immediately. When pain is alleviated with medication, the person’s motivation to make changes is reduced. And there is a great deal to learn from the process of managing emotional pain. (Of course, there are times when medication becomes necessary, especially with …

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Coping With Life’s Disruptions

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series The Resilient Personality

We all have the capacity to reorganize our lives after a disruption and to achieve new levels of order and meaningfulness if we know how to activate our resilience. In fact, in order to mature through the process of meaningful change and reintegration, we may need to experience life disruptions. In other words, life disruptions are not necessarily a bad …

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Divorce is not Inevitable

Shielding your relationship from Divorce The break of a relationship is a painful experience. No one starts a marriage expecting to divorce. Yet a significant percentage of marriages eventually do end in a divorce. So what does it take to insulate your relationship from the series of choices that bring the relationship to an end? Professionals agree that valuing, prioritizing …

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