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Infidelity – Part 4

after an affair & marriage counseling

LIFE AFTER AN AFFAIR Although many marriages are unable to survive infidelity, some do – and many of the surviving marriages emerge stronger after the crisis of infidelity. The first course of action when you learn about your partner’s infidelity is to find a professional therapist who can be with you as you try to cope with the emotional turmoil …

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Infidelity – Part 3

Life after an affair, marriage counseling

TYPES OF AFFAIRS There are many types of affairs, and couples should consider this information before making a decision to dissolve a marriage or other committed relationship. Life Transitions Relationships go through stages involving loss and then gain – and each of these transitions is accompanied by anxiety. The birth of a child, career demands, middle age, and retirement are …

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Infidelity – Part 2

Life after an affair, marriage counseling

Some affairs lack any emotional commitment, while others involve a deeper level of intimacy and connection than is found within the primary relationship. While a marriage or relationship may survive the former, as long as the underlying issues are brought out into the open and worked through, the latter type is not as hopeful. The couple would have to put …

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Infidelity

marriage after an affiair

The single most destructive threat to a committed relationship is when one of the partners engages in a sexual relationship with another person. This is not an uncommon event. Conservative estimates suggest that about a quarter of women, and a third of men, have violated their marital commitment to their partners. About 65 percent of marriages struck by infidelity end …

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Forgiveness “to do” list

Couples Therapy & Forgiving

____Understand fully that forgiveness does not mean that it is all right for the aggressive behavior to ever be repeated. Forgiveness is meant for past behavior that was unacceptable. ____Give up the unrealistic hope that the perpetrator will apologize, answer your questions or be able to explain why he or she hurt you. Even if apologies or answers were forthcoming, …

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Forgiveness – Part 4

forgiveness & Couples Therapy

What is Forgiveness? Forgiveness is not a way of forgetting the past. Indeed, if you have been harmed, you should not forget it. You can learn from the past about how to avoid being harmed in the future. Nor is forgiveness a way of exonerating the perpetrator. Recognize that the harm did happen, that the other person is responsible for …

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Forgiveness – Part 3

Couples Therapy & Forgiving

Choosing to Forgive Forgiving the one who caused you harm may seem like the last thing you would want to do. After all, by not forgiving, you can hold onto the belief that you have some power over the perpetrator and that you can therefore prevent the harm from ever happening to you again. Or you may be so invested …

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Forgiveness – Part 2

conflicts resolution skills, Succcessful Relationshipsp

THE WAY WE ARE HURT The hurt can be enormous. Humiliation. When you are ridiculed by others – especially during childhood, as often happens when children are called derisive names – or when your pride is wounded, as might happen when a supervisor at work berates you in front of others, the assault on your dignity may impel you to …

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Forgiveness & Relationships

Couples therapy, Power struggles or Empathy

All of us have been hurt, in one way or another, by someone else. While it is easy to forgive a friend for the slight distress one feels over a phone call that was not returned, it is not so easy to forgive those who have harmed you in a major way. The greatest hurt seems to come from those …

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Relationships & Conflicts – Part 5

conflicts resolution skills, Succcessful Relationshipsp

Understanding the sources of conflict in your relationship is one step towards resolving the differences between you. When we can get the problems out in the open and talk about them objectively, we can often find the solutions. Use the list below as a starting point for shedding some light on your relationship conflicts, which may now be hidden but …

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