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Relationship Conflicts – Part 3

An interesting phenomenon happens when a partner is the recipient of a projection – the one being projected upon. Because this person is trying to smooth out the conflicts, he or she may identify with the projection. So, the couple now begins to define their problem in this way. The person receiving the projection starts to say, “Yes, I have …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 2

It is not only early childhood experiences that cause us to project our unacceptable feelings onto someone else. Friends can have the same effect, as can partners from our previous relationships. This is a process that happens throughout our lives. How many times have we heard someone say, “Treat me for who I am – I am not your former …

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Is Loneliness a Problem for You? A Quiz

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Understanding Loneliness

Answer the following questions. If you have more “yes” than “no” answers, you might find it helpful to start the process of alleviating your loneliness. Do You Feel … 1.That you are not in tune with the people around you? 2.That you lack companionship? 3.There is no one you can turn to? 4.Alone? 5.That you are not part of a …

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Relationship Conflicts – Part 1

Relationships are seldom as simple as we would like. They bring out our needs, anxieties, and conflicts with people from our past – parents, friends, and former partners. When we enter into a relationship we expect to be loved just for being who we are. A relationship should provide a safe zone where our partner values us for expressing our …

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Steps to Take for Ending Loneliness

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series Understanding Loneliness

1. The first place to start is to recognize and fully admit that you are trapped in the loneliness cycle. Look at your thoughts and feelings. Do you feel that you are apart from others? Do you take a cynical view about the intentions of other people? Do you distrust others? Do you feel that there is nobody you can …

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Breaking the Loneliness Cycle

This entry is part 3 of 5 in the series Understanding Loneliness

We create a reality for ourselves that determines how others view us. Other people observe this reality and use it to define us. Then they act toward us on the basis of that assessment. So, if we see ourselves as lonely people who are trapped in a cycle of isolation, others will also see us that way and will treat …

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The Effects of Loneliness

This entry is part 1 of 5 in the series Understanding Loneliness

Physical pain alerts us to the need to take action to end the pain. Social pain in the form of loneliness tells us to end our isolation. Indeed, functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) of the brain indicates that the same region of the brain is activated when a person feels rejection as when they feel physical pain. Research has found …

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Loneliness

This entry is part 2 of 5 in the series Understanding Loneliness

Only the lonely, Know the way I feel tonight, Only the lonely, Know this feeling ain’t right – Roy Orbison If you feel lonely, you’re not alone. Loneliness is a subjective sense of isolation – a feeling of not being able to connect with other people, a sense of being apart. As humans, we feel the need to be with …

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Resilience & Dealing With Emotional Pain

This entry is part 4 of 4 in the series The Resilient Personality

When a person undergoes a life disruption, it may not advisable to take medication that will alleviate the pain immediately. When pain is alleviated with medication, the person’s motivation to make changes is reduced. And there is a great deal to learn from the process of managing emotional pain. (Of course, there are times when medication becomes necessary, especially with …

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Developing Emotional Resilience

This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series The Resilient Personality

Developing resilience depends on many factors in addition to achieving closure on previous life experiences. Those who are resilient have many of the following characteristics – A Sense of Hope and Trust in the World Those who are resilient seem to believe in the basic goodness of the world and trust that things will turn out all right in the …

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