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Category Archive for: ‘Personal Growth’

Effective Communication Strategies to Reduce Conflicts

This entry is part 3 of 5 in the series Conflict and Communication

Once you find yourself in a conflicted situation with someone else, it is important to reduce the emotional charge from the situation so that you and the other person can deal with your differences on a rational level in resolving the conflict. Defusing The Situation: The other person might be angry and may come to the situation armed with a …

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Preventing Conflict in Relationships

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series Conflict and Communication

To prevent conflict from happening in the first place, it is important to identify the ways in which we contribute to the disagreement. Most people have no interest in creating conflict with others. Most of us know enough about human behavior to distinguish between healthy communication and the words or actions that contribute to rocky relationships. It is in our …

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Interpersonal Conflict and Effective Communication

This entry is part 1 of 5 in the series Conflict and Communication

Relationships with frequent conflict may be healthier than one with no observable conflict. Conflict between people is a fact of life – and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, a relationship with frequent conflict may be healthier than one with no observable conflict. Conflicts occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and …

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Being Yourself in a Relationship

This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series Strategies for Enhancing Your Relationship

David Schnarch, Ph.D., the author of Passionate Marriage, suggests that in order to grow within an emotionally committed relationship, we must experience the process of “differentiation.” This means holding onto yourself within a relationship, staying true to what you want out of life while sharing your life with a partner. Differentiation allows us to break free from the negative processes …

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Give Your Relationship Time To Mature

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series Strategies for Enhancing Your Relationship

Relationships mature over time. The initial attraction may be physical, and this may carry the relationship for some time to the point of making an emotional commitment. Then the excitement and promise of sharing our life with another person can lead to a stage of heightened expectations where we ignore or minimize the discomfort that we may feel from time …

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Enhancing Your Relationship

This entry is part 1 of 4 in the series Strategies for Enhancing Your Relationship

“To become acquainted with oneself is a terrible shock.”– Carl Jung Emotionally committed relationships bring excitement and passion into our lives, especially when they are new.  Over time, however, we come across roadblocks based in personal issues that can distance us from our partners.   When we first enter into a committed relationship, we may think that we have found the …

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Skills for Creating a Healthy Relationship

This entry is part 9 of 9 in the series Staying Together - How to Build a healthy Relationship

Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relational Therapy John Gottman, in his book “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail”, points out four strategies for improving relationships. Most of us are not especially adept at these skills, especially when we enter into a significant life relationship, but learning them gives us a good chance to increase the success of both our relationship and our total …

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Making Positive Relationship Changes

This entry is part 9 of 9 in the series Staying Together - How to Build a healthy Relationship

There is still hope for couples who find themselves in destructive patterns, but they must learn new skills. Consulting with a trained therapist is generally the most effective way to do this, and I can help. One skill to learn is how to avoid flooding, which is a feeling of being overwhelmed by your partner’s negativity and your own reactions. …

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Phases of the Negative Cascade – Stonewalling

This entry is part 7 of 9 in the series Staying Together - How to Build a healthy Relationship

In the final phase of the negative cascade the couple finally breaks off normal contact. Gottman found that 85 percent of stonewallers are men. This phase characterizes a stage in the damaged relationship where one of the partners decides that no communication is better than the destructive feelings and words that have prevailed prior to this point. Withdrawing from interaction …

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Phases of the Negative Cascade – Defensiveness

This entry is part 6 of 9 in the series Staying Together - How to Build a healthy Relationship

Defensiveness is an attempt to protect oneself and to guard against further attacks. When a person is bombarded with criticism and indications of contempt, it is natural to feel like a victim – and victims go into a defensive posture (“I haven’t done anything wrong, so stop picking on me”). The victim feels justified in doing this. However, what is …

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