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Category Archive for: ‘Premarital Counseling’

It Takes Two – An Example of Projections

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Understanding Relationship Conflicts

The process of projection in a relationship is not always one-sided. Things can get complicated when both partners are mutually engaged in this process, which is a common occurrence. It becomes difficult for the partners to see where the problem lies. Take a look at the following example. An Example – Chris and Pat Chris grew up in a household …

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How to Respond to Your Partners Projections

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Understanding Relationship Conflicts

An interesting phenomenon happens when a partner is the recipient of a projection – the one being projected upon. Because this person is trying to smooth out the conflicts, he or she may identify with the projection. So, the couple now begins to define their problem in this way. The person receiving the projection starts to say, “Yes, I have …

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Projections Can Create Conflict in a Relationship

This entry is part 2 of 5 in the series Understanding Relationship Conflicts

Projections It is not only early childhood experiences that cause us to project our unacceptable feelings onto someone else. Friends can have the same effect, as can partners from our previous relationships. This is a process that happens throughout our lives. How many times have we heard someone say, “Treat me for who I am – I am not your …

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Understanding Relationship Conflicts – It Takes Two

This entry is part 1 of 5 in the series Understanding Relationship Conflicts

Relationships are seldom as simple as we would like. They bring out our needs, anxieties, and conflicts with people from our past – parents, friends and former partners. Our relationships with our partners are colored by our own personal legacies. We often react to our partners as if they were someone else – and most of the time this causes …

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Working on Intimate Communication

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Truth and Honesty in Our Relationships

Many couples go for months or years without having deep and intimate talks. They live with silence and feel emotionally estranged from the person to whom they have committed themselves. They want the closeness they expected when their relationship began, but they don’t know how to get there. The walls seem too high. They hope that something magical will happen, …

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Listening to the Truth

This entry is part 3 of 5 in the series Truth and Honesty in Our Relationships

If you want your partner to be honest with you, you have to be a good listener. Communication is a two-way process. A good listener – is nonjudgmental and open-minded; doesn’t jump to conclusions; understands that the truth comes out a little at the time, not all at once; doesn’t try to impose his or her personal version of the …

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Telling the Truth & Couples Intimacy

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series Truth and Honesty in Our Relationships

Truth is difficult for many of us. We all engage in a bit of self-deception in our lives. There are things about ourselves that we have not been able to examine or accept. We have difficulty in admitting our flaws – even to ourselves, much more so to our partners. Sometimes we guard our intimate feelings because we have been …

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Effective Communication & Quality Relationships

This entry is part 2 of 5 in the series Truth and Honesty in Our Relationships

Communication is at the center of relationships. The quality of a relationship depends on the quality of the communication between the two partners. The most treasured times within a relationship are those in which we tap into our partner’s authenticity with heartfelt communication – those times when we talk truthfully. Unfortunately, these moments come far too rarely for many of …

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The Stage of Deeper Sharing

This entry is part 1 of 5 in the series Truth and Honesty in Our Relationships

“We had no secrets; We’d tell each other everything…” – Carly Simon When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial …

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Resolving Conflicts Skillfully

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the series Conflict and Communication

Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have …

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