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Category Archive for: ‘Premarital Counseling’

Resolving Conflicts- Part 1

All couples argue. This is a normal and expected part of any relationship. Of course, some relationship experts say that arguing is healthy, while others say beware. While an occasional argument might be unavoidable and can even ultimately clarify boundaries within the relationship, a pattern of habitual fighting left unchecked puts the relationship at risk. Granted, when couples first meet, …

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Couples & Communication- Part 4

A Listening Exercise for Couples Reciprocal listening is a powerful tool for couples who need to improve their communication. Couples who try this may become aware of how limited their communication has been in the past. They also learn an effective technique, which can increase the respect, trust, and intimacy of their relationship. This exercise may seem structured and perhaps …

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Couples & Communication- Part 3

Obstacles to Good Listening Real listening is a skill that takes practice and an honest look into how you deal with the world. If you tend to take a distrustful or combative stance toward other people most of the time, it may be hard to engage in healthy and open listening. The same holds true if you need to please …

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Couples & Communication- Part 2

Become A Good Listener The first step in mastering good listening skills is to become aware of why listening is important in your life and your relationships. And the next step is simply to start doing it. Practice active listening whenever you can. Here are few rules to start the process: – Never interrupt when the other person is speaking. …

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Couples & Communication- Part 1

Listening is the other half of communication. Our first though, when we think about communication, may be to consider the speaker’s ability to convey ideas effectively. What we forget is that without a listener the speaker may as well be talking to the wind. Just as effective speaking is an acquired skill, so is good listening. Some do it better …

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Forgiveness & Relationships- Part 5

Forgiveness “to do” list ____Understand fully that forgiveness does not mean that it is all right for the aggressive behavior to ever be repeated. Forgiveness is meant for past behavior that was unacceptable. ____Give up the unrealistic hope that the perpetrator will apologize, answer your questions or be able to explain why he or she hurt you. Even if apologies …

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Forgiveness & Relationships- Part 4

What is Forgiveness? Forgiveness is not a way of forgetting the past. Indeed, if you have been harmed, you should not forget it. You can learn from the past about how to avoid being harmed in the future. Nor is forgiveness a way of exonerating the perpetrator. Recognize that the harm did happen, that the other person is responsible for …

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Forgiveness & Relationships- Part 1

All of us have been hurt, in one way or another, by someone else. While it is easy to forgive a friend for the slight distress one feels over a phone call that was not returned, it is not so easy to forgive those who have harmed you in a major way. The greatest hurt seems to come from those …

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Couples & Growth – Part 4

Learn to Self-Soothe in the Face of Conflict We blame our partners when we feel discomfort, and this tends to create distance within an emotionally committed relationship. The distance, then, creates a feeling of further discomfort. The clue to dealing with this dilemma is to learn how to soothe your own emotional pain. This can open the way to more …

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Couples & Growth – Part 3

Being Yourself in a Relationship This means holding onto yourself within a relationship, staying true to what you want out of life while sharing your life with a partner. Differentiation allows us to break free from the negative processes that happen between partners in any relationship. It allows us to take a time out from arguments in order to comfort …

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