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Making Your Birth Order Work For You

INFLUENCE OF BIRTH ORDER – Part 4

Some Hints for…

First-Borns

You can have high standards and expectations without being a perfectionist. Try loosening up a bit, and don’t expect that others should adhere to the same standards that you set for yourself.

Learn to set up some good boundaries for yourself when others expect you to do things. You don’t have to be all things to all people. Learn to say “no.”

Set aside some time for yourself. Play and enjoy life. Cultivate the part of yourself that experiences life fully.

When people try to influence you to take risks, stick with your first inclination – which is probably to be cautious. Take pride in your ability to be responsible.

Learn to laugh at yourself. Sometimes you’ll be wrong – just admit it!

Middle Children

You may find yourself comparing yourself with other people much of the time. Just rejoice in being yourself. Like yourself for who you are and what you have in life.

While you may not have talked much about yourself growing up, there is never a better time than now to begin. Explore feeling comfortable in sharing your thoughts and feelings with other people.

While you may value your freedom and independence more than most, that doesn’t mean that you’ll never be successful. Find ways to express your freedom responsibly in your work and relationships.

You don’t have to be a friend to everyone. Select a few people who deserve your time and true friendship. When everyone is a friend, nobody is a true friend.

Last-Borns

Rather than expecting others to take charge or blaming other people when things go wrong, explore how it feels to accept complete responsibility for things yourself, not only with major decisions but with the smaller chores of daily living.

While you may love to be the focus of attention, try sharing center stage with other people. Try listening to other people to benefit from their point of view.

Evaluate your work. If you work alone or in an isolated job, remember that you are probably not utilizing one of your greatest strengths, which is your ability to work well with other people.

Your ability to be entertaining and influential around others is a wonderful asset – but learn to use it for the benefit of other people, not just for your own gratification.

Dr. Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT
www.sandiegofamilytherapy.net

San Diego Couples and Family Therapy serves the surrounding areas of Sorrento Valley Road as La Jolla, UTC San Diego, Del Mar, Rancho Santa Fe, Rancho Bernardo, Rancho Penasquitos, Poway, University City and Escondido.

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About the Author

Dr. Baya Mebarek

Dr. Baya Mebarek is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California. She specializes in couple therapy, pre-marital therapy, and in the treatment of children, adolescents, adults, couples and families dealing with depression.

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