The dissolution of a marriage is a painful experience. Who starts a marriage expecting to divorce? Yet significant percentage of marriages end eventually in a divorce. So what does it take to shield your relationship from series of choices that bring the relationship to an end?
Professionals agree that to value and prioritize the relationship and consistently nurturing the relationship (quality time, dates, and improved communication) help improve a relationship. Reading quality books on relationship building may also be a great investment.
Deciding to divorce is usually a process. When one or both partners have accumulated numerous hurts, disappointments and unresolved issues they may go from lack of forgiveness and lack of reconciliation to bitterness and resentment and they distance themselves emotionally. It is crucial to address hurt feelings and disagreements early on. When partners develop effective ways to negotiate, compromise and communicate, their relationship become healthy and strong, and they are able to withstand the inevitable stressors and challenges of marriage.
Your relationship can only be as healthy as you two are. Even if your partner is hesitant to join you in therapy, going alone will still benefit the relationship indirectly. Taking responsibility for your own part in the situation and coming to terms with your own goals and issues makes you a better partner. Your effort alone may impact your partner behavior.
If your marriage is struggling make it a priority to deal with the issues that are hurting your relationship. Marriage counseling may very well be what can help save your marriage.
Dr. Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT