Practical Applications of Nonviolent Communication in Marriage (continued)
7- Rebuilding Emotional Connection
When one partner feels distant, ineffective communication can create further disconnection:
Accusatory statement: “You don’t care about me anymore. You never want to talk!”
NVC approach:
- Observation: “I’ve noticed we haven’t been talking as much in the evenings.
- Feeling: “I feel disconnected and a little lonely.”
- Need: “I need more meaningful conversation to feel close to you.”
- Request: “Would you be willing to set aside 20 minutes each evening to talk without distractions?”
This approach invites reconnection without blame.
8- Rebuilding Trust After a Conflict
When one partner feels hurt by something the other said, an accusatory approach can cause further division:
Hurtful accusation: “You were so rude! You don’t even care how you hurt me!”
NVC approach:
- Observation: “Yesterday, when you said I was overreacting, I felt hurt.
- Feeling: “I felt dismissed and unimportant.”
- Need: “I need to feel that my emotions are valued and understood.”
- Request: “Would you be open to talking about how we can handle these situations differently in the future?”
This method invites dialogue and resolution instead of further conflict.
Adapted from a book by Marshall Rosenberg
Dr.Baya Mebarek, Psy.D.,LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping couples strengthen their relationships. Based in San Diego and providing online therapy throughout California, she specializes in couples therapy, marriage counseling, premarital counseling, affair recovery, communication and conflict, emotional disconnection, and rebuilding trust. Her integrative approach draws on research-based relationship strategies, attachment-informed therapy, and a deep understanding of the emotional patterns that can leave couples feeling hurt, misunderstood, or disconnected.
