Turning Toward Your Partner
Turning toward your partner means recognizing their attempts at connection and responding in a way that acknowledges and values them. This practice reinforces trust, emotional safety, and a sense of being loved. To effectively turn toward your partner:
- Be Attentive:
-Notice your partner’s verbal and nonverbal cues.
-Minimize distractions from work, technology, or stress that might cause you to miss these moments.
- Respond Positively:
-Engage with warmth, interest, and attentiveness.
-Examples include saying, “That’s amazing, tell me more!”, smiling, nodding, or offering an affectionate touch.
Building Awareness and Commitment
Start by observing your interactions throughout the day. Pay attention to how often you:
- Turn toward your partner.
- Turn away or dismiss their attempts.
- Respond negatively or against their efforts to connect.
Take note of missed opportunities and commit to responding consistently. Even moments that seem minor can significantly enhance the quality of your connection.
Adapted from a book by John and Julie Gottman
Dr.Baya Mebarek, Psy.D.,LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping couples strengthen their relationships. Based in San Diego and providing online therapy throughout California, she specializes in couples therapy, marriage counseling, premarital counseling, affair recovery, communication and conflict, emotional disconnection, and rebuilding trust. Her integrative approach draws on research-based relationship strategies, attachment-informed therapy, and a deep understanding of the emotional patterns that can leave couples feeling hurt, misunderstood, or disconnected.
