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Category Archive for: ‘bicultural couples therapy’

Marriage, Anger, & Contempt

One of the patterns I have noticed in the couples I have been working with lately is that they engage in judgment and condemnation instead of expressing their feelings. The scenario typically goes like this: One partner does or says something hurtful to the other but the hurt one does not own his/her feelings neither communicates sensibly about them but choose …

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Marriage, Honesty & Truth- Part 5

Working on Intimate Communication Many couples go for months or years without having deep and intimate talks. They live with silence and feel emotionally estranged from the person to whom they have committed themselves. They want the closeness they expected when their relationship began, but they don’t know how to get there. The walls seem too high. They hope that …

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Marriage, Honesty & Truth- Part 4

Telling the Truth Truth is difficult for many of us. We all engage in a bit of self-deception in our lives. There are things about ourselves that we have not been able to examine or accept. We have difficulty in admitting our flaws – even to ourselves, much more so to our partners. Sometimes we guard our intimate feelings because …

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Marriage, Honesty & Truth- Part 3

Listening to the Truth: If you want your partner to be honest with you, you have to be a good listener. Communication is a two-way process. A good listener – is nonjudgmental and open-minded; doesn’t jump to conclusions; understands that the truth comes out a little at the time, not all at once; doesn’t try to impose his or her …

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Marriage, Honesty, & Truth- Part 2

Effective Communication & Quality Relationships Communication is at the center of relationships. The quality of a relationship depends on the quality of the communication between the two partners. The most treasured times within a relationship are those in which we tap into our partner’s authenticity with heartfelt communication – those times when we talk truthfully. Unfortunately, these moments come far …

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Marriage, Honesty & Truth-Part 1

The Stage of Deeper Sharing When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this …

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Marriage & Conflicts- Part 4

Communication Patterns You Should Avoid Escalating Here you quickly move from the main issue of the argument to questioning your partner’s basic personality, and then move to wondering whether the relationship is even worth it. Timing This involves catching your partner off guard., like looking for a time when your partner is least able to respond or least expects an …

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Marriage & Conflicts-Part 3

Constructive Relationship Guidelines In addition to reaching a good understanding of the nature of the commitment, there are several other guidelines that can be explored when a couple decides to bring their arguments to a more constructive level. It is better to be close and happy than to be right. Blaming each other and trying to change the other person’s …

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Marriage & Conflicts- Part 2

Constructive Guidelines for Couples when dealing with conflicts If arguments begin to have a deteriorating effect on a relationship and no resolution appears in sight, it is time to examine the level of commitment each of the partners has to the relationship. This is sometimes a basic issue that remains unresolved by two partners. People avoid this topic out of fear that …

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Marriage & Conflicts- Part 1

All couples argue. This is a normal and expected part of any relationship. Of course, some relationship experts say that arguing is healthy, while others say beware. While an occasional argument might be unavoidable and can even ultimately clarify boundaries within the relationship, a pattern of habitual fighting left unchecked puts the relationship at risk. Granted, when couples first meet, …

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