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Category Archive for: ‘Counseling Relationship’

Relationships & Forgiveness- Part 2

THE WAY WE ARE HURT The hurt can be enormous. Humiliation. When you are ridiculed by others – especially during childhood, as often happens when children are called derisive names – or when your pride is wounded, as might happen when a supervisor at work berates you in front of others, the assault on your dignity may impel you to …

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Relationships & Forgiveness- Part 1

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi All of us have been hurt, in one way or another, by someone else. While it is easy to forgive a friend for the slight distress one feels over a phone call that was not returned, it is not so easy to forgive those who …

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Marriage & Truth- Part 3

Listening to the Truth: If you want your partner to be honest with you, you have to be a good listener. Communication is a two-way process. A good listener – is nonjudgmental and open-minded; doesn’t jump to conclusions; understands that the truth comes out a little at the time, not all at once; doesn’t try to impose his or her …

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Marriage & Truth- Part 2

Effective Communication & Quality Relationships Communication is at the center of relationships. The quality of a relationship depends on the quality of the communication between the two partners. The most treasured times within a relationship are those in which we tap into our partner’s authenticity with heartfelt communication – those times when we talk truthfully. Unfortunately, these moments come far …

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Marriage & Truth- Part 1

The Stage of Deeper Sharing When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial contact with the other person, and this …

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Marriage & Commitment- Part 5

Marriage Success: Skills for Creating a Healthy Relationship John Gottman, in his book “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail”, points out four strategies for improving relationships. Most of us are not especially adept at these skills, especially when we enter into a significant life relationship, but learning them gives us a good chance to increase the success of both our relationship and …

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Marriage & Commitment- Part 4

Couples Making Positive Relationship Changes There is still hope for couples who find themselves in destructive patterns, but they must learn new skills. Consulting with a trained therapist is generally the most effective way to do this, and I can help. One skill to learn is how to avoid flooding, which is a feeling of being overwhelmed by your partner’s …

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Marriage & Commitment- Part 1

When we make a commitment to our partner, our usual expectation is that our relationship will last for life and that our love will see us through the inevitable hard times. Yet, when reality sinks in, we have to acknowledge that while love is one of the components of a relationship’s longevity, it really takes more to make it through …

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Couples & Conflicts- Part 4

Communication Patterns You Should Avoid Escalating Here you quickly move from the main issue of the argument to questioning your partner’s basic personality, and then move to wondering whether the relationship is even worth it. Timing This involves catching your partner off guard., like looking for a time when your partner is least able to respond or least expects an …

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Couples & Conflicts- Part 3

Constructive Relationship Guidelines In addition to reaching a good understanding of the nature of the commitment, there are several other guidelines that can be explored when a couple decides to bring their arguments to a more constructive level. It is better to be close and happy than to be right. Blaming each other and trying to change the other person’s …

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