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How to Respond to Your Partners Projections
An interesting phenomenon happens when a partner is the recipient of a projection – the one being projected upon. Because this person is trying to smooth out the conflicts, he or she may identify with the projection. So, the couple now begins to define their problem in this way. The person receiving the projection starts to say, “Yes, I have …
Projections Can Create Conflict in a Relationship
Projections It is not only early childhood experiences that cause us to project our unacceptable feelings onto someone else. Friends can have the same effect, as can partners from our previous relationships. This is a process that happens throughout our lives. How many times have we heard someone say, “Treat me for who I am – I am not your …
Working on Intimate Communication
Many couples go for months or years without having deep and intimate talks. They live with silence and feel emotionally estranged from the person to whom they have committed themselves. They want the closeness they expected when their relationship began, but they don’t know how to get there. The walls seem too high. They hope that something magical will happen, …
Listening to the Truth
If you want your partner to be honest with you, you have to be a good listener. Communication is a two-way process. A good listener – is nonjudgmental and open-minded; doesn’t jump to conclusions; understands that the truth comes out a little at the time, not all at once; doesn’t try to impose his or her personal version of the …
Telling the Truth & Couples Intimacy
Truth is difficult for many of us. We all engage in a bit of self-deception in our lives. There are things about ourselves that we have not been able to examine or accept. We have difficulty in admitting our flaws – even to ourselves, much more so to our partners. Sometimes we guard our intimate feelings because we have been …
Effective Communication & Quality Relationships
Communication is at the center of relationships. The quality of a relationship depends on the quality of the communication between the two partners. The most treasured times within a relationship are those in which we tap into our partner’s authenticity with heartfelt communication – those times when we talk truthfully. Unfortunately, these moments come far too rarely for many of …
The Stage of Deeper Sharing
“We had no secrets; We’d tell each other everything…” – Carly Simon When we commit ourselves to a relationship with another person, we rightly expect to experience a sense of fulfillment that we didn’t have before. Humans, as social beings, seem to have a universal desire to find a partner. Sexual attraction often serves as the motivator for making initial …
Job Stress & Depression
Negative Working Conditions and Depression In a recent study from the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research in Ann Arbor, “negative working conditions” were found to be the cause in many middle-aged adults’ depression. Factors such as: low job satisfaction, little control, and a lack of appreciation by employers are the contributing factors. If you can’t change your negative …
Internet Addiction & Brain Abnormalities
Internet addiction A recent study presented at The American Psychiatric Association’s Annual Meeting in New York earlier this month shows that there appears to be a correlation between internet addiction and mental health problems. Although internet addictions are not considered a diagnosable disorder, adults see the behaviors and the potential problems emerging. Dr. Jadapalle, a psychiatry resident at Morehouse School …
Resolving Conflicts Skillfully
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have …