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Category Archive for: ‘Couples arguing’

Controlling Your Anger

This entry is part 6 of 6 in the series Anger

Controlling the Escalation of Anger When anger goes out of control the consequences can be devastating and irreparable. When people have a destructive angry episode, there is a series of steps involved in the escalation of the interaction. We should aim to stop the escalation before it spirals completely out of control. We can learn to break into this chain …

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Exploring Anger

This entry is part 5 of 6 in the series Anger

An Exercise for Exploring Anger Do this exercise once a day for a month or so. It only takes a few minutes. This exercise encourages you to explore your anger so that you can take a more contained approach toward it. Find a quiet time and place with no distractions (turn off the TV and background music). Close your eyes …

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Positive Approach Toward Anger

This entry is part 4 of 6 in the series Anger

Some Suggestions for Taking a Positive Approach Toward Anger – The most important thing one can do to manage anger is to get to know this emotion, and to know it well. Ask yourself the following questions. What triggers my anger? Are there any themes in these triggers (for example, feeling condemned, feeling controlled by others, feeling rejected)? What happens …

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Directing Anger Inward

This entry is part 3 of 6 in the series Anger

Many people have been made to feel ashamed for having anger. If our self-esteem has been damaged, we are ripe candidates for blaming ourselves when we are angry. Women may be particularly susceptible because of cultural expectations to be nice. We may learn to direct our anger inward, toward ourselves, rather than attributing it to a perceived threat in the …

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Directing Anger Toward Others

This entry is part 2 of 6 in the series Anger

Those who were told in childhood to avoid anger may never come to know what their anger is all about. Thus, they fear the emergence of angry feelings and when their anger is triggered, they may find themselves out of control. Indeed, for those who are unfamiliar with anger, the likelihood of catapulting into rage becomes a real possibility. When …

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Anger & Relationships

This entry is part 1 of 6 in the series Anger

Managing a Powerful Emotion All of us get angry – although some people might not like to believe this. Anger is an emotion that can occur when there is a threat to our self-esteem, our bodies, our property, our ways of seeing the world, or our desires. People differ in what makes them angry. Some people will perceive an event …

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Communication & Relationships

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series Communication skills

Effective communication is authentic – meaning honest and congruent. Say what you think or feel, and mean what you say. You probably assume you already do this, yet dishonesty is more common than you might guess (we often even fool ourselves about our own dishonesty). When you outwardly agree but inwardly don’t, you are being dishonest. Whether you want to: …

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Effective Communication

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series Communication skills

Communication is so important that it can make or break a relationship. It is critical to the success of a relationship and instantly reflects your self-esteem, for better or for worse. Assertive communication commands respect, projects confidence, and inspires influence. It is respectful, direct, honest, open, non-threatening and non-defensive. It is not demanding, aggressive, or manipulative. Communication is learned. With …

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Resolving Conflicts

Conflicts and disagreements are unavoidable. As long as relationships exist, conflicts and disagreements will always be part of them. As soon as you put two human beings together, you have two cultures, two backgrounds, two frame of reference, two mindset, two families of origin, two ways of doing things etc Depending of the family of origin and even the culture …

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Dealing With Procrastination

This entry is part 3 of 3 in the series Dealing With Procrastination

Few strategies for overcoming procrastination: • Identify fears and unrealistic expectations. Try to identify what is holding you back. If you can categorize the problem, the solution may become obvious. • Focus on rational self-talk. Write down all of your excuses and examine the distorted thinking behind each. Then, write down a realistic thought next to each excuse. • Try …

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