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Category Archive for: ‘Couples Therapy’

Marriage & Commitment- Part 5

Marriage Success: Skills for Creating a Healthy Relationship John Gottman, in his book “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail”, points out four strategies for improving relationships. Most of us are not especially adept at these skills, especially when we enter into a significant life relationship, but learning them gives us a good chance to increase the success of both our relationship and …

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Marriage & Commitment- Part 4

Couples Making Positive Relationship Changes There is still hope for couples who find themselves in destructive patterns, but they must learn new skills. Consulting with a trained therapist is generally the most effective way to do this, and I can help. One skill to learn is how to avoid flooding, which is a feeling of being overwhelmed by your partner’s …

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Marriage & Commitment- Part 3

Negative Relationship Behaviors – The Negative Cascade A relationship in trouble is one that falls into a negative cascade. One negative reaction leads to the next until there is a seemingly insurmountable wall between the two partners. Relationships that enter this destructive phase need attention and can benefit from the trustworthy, confidential intervention of a professional therapist. Sometimes the two …

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Marriage & Commitment- Part 2

Positive interaction & Couples What are positive interactions? They are found in – Showing interest in what your partner is saying, – Expressing affection to your partner both verbally (“I love you”) and nonverbally (holding hands, doing kind little things), – Showing you care – perhaps by making a phone call during the day or bringing home flowers, – Showing …

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Marriage & Commitment- Part 1

When we make a commitment to our partner, our usual expectation is that our relationship will last for life and that our love will see us through the inevitable hard times. Yet, when reality sinks in, we have to acknowledge that while love is one of the components of a relationship’s longevity, it really takes more to make it through …

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Couples & Conflicts- Part 4

Communication Patterns You Should Avoid Escalating Here you quickly move from the main issue of the argument to questioning your partner’s basic personality, and then move to wondering whether the relationship is even worth it. Timing This involves catching your partner off guard., like looking for a time when your partner is least able to respond or least expects an …

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Couples & Conflicts- Part 3

Constructive Relationship Guidelines In addition to reaching a good understanding of the nature of the commitment, there are several other guidelines that can be explored when a couple decides to bring their arguments to a more constructive level. It is better to be close and happy than to be right. Blaming each other and trying to change the other person’s …

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Couples & Conflicts- Part 2

Constructive Relationship Guidelines If arguments begin to have a deteriorating effect on a relationship and no resolution appears in sight, it is time to examine the level of commitment each of the partners has to the relationship. This is sometimes a basic issue that remains unresolved by two partners. People avoid this topic out of fear that their partner may …

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Couples & Conflicts- Part 1

All couples argue. This is a normal and expected part of any relationship. Of course, some relationship experts say that arguing is healthy, while others say beware. While an occasional argument might be unavoidable and can even ultimately clarify boundaries within the relationship, a pattern of habitual fighting left unchecked puts the relationship at risk. Granted, when couples first meet, …

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Marriage & Intimacy- Part 4

It is difficult to achieve intimacy in a relationship unless we have the ability to trust. We tend to focus on other people when we think about trust – that is, we might ask, who out there can be trusted and who cannot? But it may be more helpful to look inside and to think about trust also as something …

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