Learning to have healthy boundaries is an exciting adventure, an exercise in personal liberation. When two people with healthy boundaries enter into a relationship, they can find true intimacy as whole, complete and equal people.

Here are some examples of healthy and unhealthy relationship boundaries                   

Healthy boundaries in relationships

Unhealthy boundaries in relationships

Feeling like your own person

Feeling incomplete without your partner

Feeling responsible for your own happiness

Relying on your partner for your happiness

Togetherness and separateness are balanced

Too much or too little togetherness

Friendships exist outside of the relationship

 Inability to establish and maintain friendships with others

Focuses on the best qualities of both people

 Focuses on the worst qualities of the partners
Achieving intimacy without chemicals

Using alcohol/drugs to reduce inhibitions and achieve a false sense of intimacy
Open, honest and assertive communication

Game-playing, unwillingness to listen, manipulation
Commitment to the partner Jealousy, relationship addiction or lack of commitment
Respecting the differences in the partner

Blaming the partner for his or her own unique qualities
Accepting changes in the relationship Feeling that the relationship should always be the same
Asking honestly for what is wanted

 Feeling unable to express what is wanted
Accepting endings

Unable to let go

Marriage counseling, couples therapy can help you develop healthy internal and relationship boundaries. The rewards can be immeasurable – for both you and your partner.

Dr. Baya Mebarek, Psy.D.,LMFT
www.sandiegofamilytherapy.net