Learning to have healthy boundaries is an exciting adventure, an exercise in personal liberation. When two people with healthy boundaries enter into a relationship, they can find true intimacy as whole, complete and equal people.
Here are some examples of healthy and unhealthy relationship boundaries
Healthy boundaries in relationships | Unhealthy boundaries in relationships |
Feeling like your own person | Feeling incomplete without your partner |
Feeling responsible for your own happiness | Relying on your partner for your happiness |
Togetherness and separateness are balanced | Too much or too little togetherness |
Friendships exist outside of the relationship | Inability to establish and maintain friendships with others |
Focuses on the best qualities of both people | Focuses on the worst qualities of the partners |
| Achieving intimacy without chemicals | Using alcohol/drugs to reduce inhibitions and achieve a false sense of intimacy |
| Open, honest and assertive communication | Game-playing, unwillingness to listen, manipulation |
| Commitment to the partner | Jealousy, relationship addiction or lack of commitment |
| Respecting the differences in the partner | Blaming the partner for his or her own unique qualities |
| Accepting changes in the relationship | Feeling that the relationship should always be the same |
| Asking honestly for what is wanted | Feeling unable to express what is wanted |
| Accepting endings | Unable to let go |
Marriage counseling, couples therapy can help you develop healthy internal and relationship boundaries. The rewards can be immeasurable – for both you and your partner.
Dr. Baya Mebarek, Psy.D.,LMFT
www.sandiegofamilytherapy.net
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping couples strengthen their relationships. Based in San Diego and providing online therapy throughout California, she specializes in couples therapy, marriage counseling, premarital counseling, affair recovery, communication and conflict, emotional disconnection, and rebuilding trust. Her integrative approach draws on research-based relationship strategies, attachment-informed therapy, and a deep understanding of the emotional patterns that can leave couples feeling hurt, misunderstood, or disconnected.
