In recent encounters with struggling couples, a concerning pattern has emerged: an apathetic attitude toward their relationship. Many believe that by simply pretending everything is fine, they can avoid the hard work required for real change. They postpone difficult conversations, citing fatigue as a barrier to addressing issues head-on.

This avoidance often leads to destructive behavior, as partners lash out instead of engaging in respectful communication that fosters connection. Disrespect and disconnection deepen, further eroding the foundation of the relationship.

But what if this energy were redirected toward positive, relationship-building techniques? What if couples committed to communicating thoughts and feelings skillfully, rather than avoiding each other? What if they engaged in activities that nurtured their bond and brought mutual pleasure?

Here are common behaviors that drive distance in relationships instead of fostering intimacy:

  • Working excessively long hours
  • Spending excessive time on electronic devices
  • Choosing TV over quality time together
  • Overindulging in food or other vices
  • Immersing oneself in distractions like internet pornography or gaming
  • Prioritizing children over the relationship

It’s essential to ask oneself: Do any of these behaviors serve as a barrier to connecting with my partner?

Often, avoidance and conflicts arise because partners struggle to express themselves authentically and respectfully in the face of disagreement or anxiety. Developing this crucial skill empowers individuals to manage their emotions, even when their partner cannot.

Couples therapy offers a roadmap for navigating these challenges, providing tools to address relationship issues and cultivate intimacy. With the guidance of a qualified marriage therapist, couples can overcome apathy, rebuild connection, and chart a path toward growth and fulfillment in their relationship.

Dr.Baya Mebarek, Psy.D.,LMFT