Key Skills for Couples Navigating Conflicts
Conflict is an inevitable part of marriage, but how couples handle it determines the strength and longevity of their relationship. Contrary to popular belief, conflict itself is not harmful; rather, it is the way partners approach disagreements that shape marital success or failure. Dr. John Gottman’s research emphasizes that successful couples do not avoid conflict altogether but instead learn to manage it in ways that foster understanding, emotional connection, and long-term stability.
Gottman distinguishes between solvable problems, issues with clear solutions and perpetual problems, deep-seated differences in personality, values, or lifestyle that may never be fully resolved but can be managed constructively. The key to a thriving marriage lies in developing the skills to address both types of conflict in a way that strengthens the bond rather than eroding it.
Adapted from a book by John Gottman
Dr.Baya Mebarek, Psy.D.,LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping couples strengthen their relationships. Based in San Diego and providing online therapy throughout California, she specializes in couples therapy, marriage counseling, premarital counseling, affair recovery, communication and conflict, emotional disconnection, and rebuilding trust. Her integrative approach draws on research-based relationship strategies, attachment-informed therapy, and a deep understanding of the emotional patterns that can leave couples feeling hurt, misunderstood, or disconnected.
