Six Essential Conflict Resolution Skills for Couples (continued)
- Soothe Yourself and Each Other
When conflict triggers a fight-or-flight response, rational thinking becomes difficult. Heightened emotions can turn small disagreements into major battles. Learning to self-soothe allows couples to remain emotionally engaged without being overwhelmed.
How to Implement:
– Take a break of at least 20 minutes to calm down before continuing a discussion.
– Engage in relaxation techniques like deep breathing, walking, or listening to music.
– Pay attention to your partner’s emotional state and offer support when needed.
- Compromise Without Sacrificing Core Needs
Healthy compromise does not mean giving up deeply held values or needs. Instead, it requires finding solutions that work for both partners while respecting individual boundaries.
How to Implement:
– Identify non-negotiable needs and areas of flexibility.
– Focus on shared goals rather than personal victories.
– Approach compromise as a way to strengthen the relationship, not as a loss.
Adapted from a book by John Gottman
Dr.Baya Mebarek, Psy.D.,LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping couples strengthen their relationships. Based in San Diego and providing online therapy throughout California, she specializes in couples therapy, marriage counseling, premarital counseling, affair recovery, communication and conflict, emotional disconnection, and rebuilding trust. Her integrative approach draws on research-based relationship strategies, attachment-informed therapy, and a deep understanding of the emotional patterns that can leave couples feeling hurt, misunderstood, or disconnected.
