Six Essential Conflict Resolution Skills for Couples (continued)
- Manage Perpetual Problems with Understanding
Gottman’s research reveals that 69% of marital conflicts are perpetual, they stem from fundamental differences in personality, beliefs, or lifestyle. The goal is not to eliminate these differences but to navigate them with respect and understanding.
How to Implement:
– Accept that some issues will remain unresolved and shift the focus to managing them peacefully.
– Strive to understand your partner’s perspective rather than trying to change them.
– Approach ongoing differences with affection, humor, and a willingness to adapt.
- Create Shared Meaning
Couples who share a strong sense of purpose and meaning are better equipped to navigate conflict. A deep emotional connection acts as a buffer against the stress of disagreements.
How to Implement:
– Have regular conversations about shared dreams, values, and long-term goals.
– Establish rituals of connection, such as daily check-ins, date nights, or shared hobbies.
– Foster a sense of teamwork in tackling life’s challenges.
Adapted from a book by John Gottman
Dr.Baya Mebarek, Psy.D.,LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping couples strengthen their relationships. Based in San Diego and providing online therapy throughout California, she specializes in couples therapy, marriage counseling, premarital counseling, affair recovery, communication and conflict, emotional disconnection, and rebuilding trust. Her integrative approach draws on research-based relationship strategies, attachment-informed therapy, and a deep understanding of the emotional patterns that can leave couples feeling hurt, misunderstood, or disconnected.
