Couples Fair Fights | San Diego Couples & Family Therapy

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PARTNER

Depending on the nature of your relationship and your values, you ultimately have two choices in dealing with a passive-aggressive partner. You can either repair the relationship or you can end it, and of course the former is usually the preferred option. Here are some tips to follow in containing passive-aggression:

1- First, it is important to recognize the problems in your relationship as stemming from passive-aggression. It is often helpful to enlist the help of a trained therapist who can objectively assess the situation.

2- Look at your own behavior in the relationship to see what part you may play in perpetuating your partner’s passive-aggression. This may take a great deal of self-examination. Then work to change your behavior. This may mean taking an entirely different approach on your part. After all what you have been doing in the past probably hasn’t worked.

3- Understand what motivates your partner’s passive-aggressive behavior. And try not to be judgmental. Understand how your partner grew up, what anger means to him or her, and how your partner is actually fearful of being alone, expressing anger openly ad becoming intimate.

4- Set clear limits. Explain to your partner that you want him or her to be responsible, live up to promises, and be more open. Then you have to constantly enforce these limits. Take a sympathetic approach in doing this, and try not to be vindictive or authoritarian.

5- Teach your partner that expressing anger is acceptable. Healthy couples may fight as much as those in unhealthy relationships, but they fight fairly. Learn how to make an argument productive by using constructive communication techniques. If your partner feels empowered there will be no need for him or her to use passive-aggression.

Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT
www.sandiegofamilytherapy.net

Dr. Baya Mebarek

Dr. Baya Mebarek is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California. She specializes in couple therapy, pre-marital therapy, and in the treatment of children, adolescents, adults, couples and families dealing with depression.

17:44 09 Mar 23

Dr. Baya Mebarek is an exceptional therapist who has helped my wife and me rediscover our marriage's love. When we first came to her, we struggled with communication issues, and it seemed like we were constantly at odds with each other. Dr. Mebarek was incredibly patient and understanding, creating a safe space to express our feelings and concerns without fear of judgment.Dr. Mebarek gave us practical tools and techniques to improve communication and deepen our connection. She helped us see that our differences were not weaknesses but strengths that complemented each other. Through her guidance, we understood each other's needs and perspectives better, which brought us closer together.One of the most significant changes we experienced was learning how to listen actively to each other. Dr. Mebarek taught us how to communicate more effectively by paraphrasing and validating each other's feelings, which helped us to avoid misunderstandings and arguments.We are so grateful to Dr. Mebarek for helping us to save our marriage. She is a knowledgeable, compassionate, and insightful therapist who truly cares about her client's well-being. Thanks to her guidance, we now have a stronger and more loving relationship than ever before. We highly recommend her to anyone seeking to improve their relationship.

15:59 07 Dec 22

It’s always said that it takes two people to make a relationship work. Reality is that it takes three people. Dr Baya has been able to consistently keep our marriage on track sometimes the things that we go in with seems so difficult and so damaging and yet when we leave it all seems so small in the bigger picture. We have been going to her for over two years and I credit, her expertise in the field of marriage counseling for the reason my marriage is not only still existing but much better than it would be had we not started seeing her.

01:32 14 Oct 22

My now husband and I went for premarital therapy. She is absolutely fantastic. She is to the point and extremely intelligent. We both love working with her as a couple!

15:16 04 Oct 22

I have collegially associated with Dr. Baya Mebarek for over two years. During this time she has demonstrated a keen sense of intuitive insight, a highly-ethical regard for her profession, and genuine regard for those she serves.Dr. Mebarek is gentle and strong. She understands people and knows how to help them find and live their best life.I am confident that she does and will provide incredible care to those she serves, and will build and hold trust and therapeutic alliance, and will safeguard clients' entrusted and protected confidential information.

16:35 13 Oct 21

I would highly recommend Dr. Baya. We have been using her services for a few months now and see progress after every session with her. She is the first therapist we’ve used that we feel truly cares about the issues of her individual clients and listens well, but can also give great advice when necessary. Other than being a great therapist, we feel she is also a wonderful person and very punctual, which I always appreciate.

22:23 05 Mar 19

Dr. Mebarek is an illuminated soul. She told me not what I wanted to hear, but absolutely what I needed to hear. She is a seer & teller of truth, and will give you her professional opinion, which is like gold. I would recommend anyone to go talk to her in her cool & cozy office. She might save your life.

20:11 05 Jan 14

When you seek out a health practitioner, you want someone who is competent at their craft. Of equal importance, it makes a considerable difference to be treated by someone who is compassionate, nurturing, and has a grounding and calming presence. Dr Baya Mebarek is all of these things. She is genuinely interested in how her patients feel and is dedicated to helping trigger positive changes for a better mental, emotional, and spiritual well being. She is present, thoughtful and effective in her treatments. I live in SF and don't get to see her as often as I would like but I travel down to get my needed dose! I highly recommend Dr Mebarek.

Passive-Aggressive Partner- Part 4

Dr. Baya Mebarek

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