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Archives for: ‘Forgiveness’

Relationship and Forgiveness

This entry is part 1 of 6 in the series Forgiveness

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi   All of us have been hurt, in one way or another, by someone else. While it is easy to forgive a friend for the slight distress one feels over a phone call that was not returned, it is not so easy to forgive those …

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The Ways We Are Hurt

This entry is part 2 of 6 in the series Forgiveness

There are many ways of being hurt. Some are minor and some are more severe. In some cases we are the unwitting victim of those who hurt us. At other times we collude in allowing ourselves to suffer by building expectations that make us vulnerable or placing our trust in the wrong places. Whatever the nature of the damage done …

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Choosing to Forgive

This entry is part 3 of 6 in the series Forgiveness

Forgiving the one who caused you harm may seem like the last thing you would want to do. After all, by not forgiving, you can hold onto the belief that you have some power over the perpetrator and that you can therefore prevent the harm from ever happening to you again. Or you may be so invested in playing the …

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What is Forgiveness?

This entry is part 4 of 6 in the series Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not a way of forgetting the past. Indeed, if you have been harmed, you should not forget it. You can learn from the past about how to avoid being harmed in the future. Nor is forgiveness a way of exonerating the perpetrator. Recognize that the harm did happen, that the other person is responsible for this and must …

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A Forgiveness “To Do” List

This entry is part 5 of 6 in the series Forgiveness

____Understand fully that forgiveness does not mean that it is all right for the aggressive behavior to ever be repeated. Forgiveness is meant for past behavior that was unacceptable. ____Give up the unrealistic hope that the perpetrator will apologize, answer your questions or be able to explain why he or she hurt you. Even if apologies or answers were forthcoming, …

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The Stages of Recovery from Harm

This entry is part 6 of 6 in the series Forgiveness

Sidney and Suzanne Simon, in their book, Forgiveness, identify several stages in the process of recovery from abuse. Recovering from hurt is a challenging but potentially rewarding life task. Recovery involves – 1.) recognizing that the harm has occurred. We may cling to our old “family secrets,” or we may feel that “that was then and this is now.” Denial …

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