Whether it seems to come completely “out of the blue” or there were various obvious events leading up to it, the announcement of a divorce can have devastating effects on the couple and on the children. You can find yourself consumed with anger way longer than expected or completely depressed. Understandably, you may even feel betrayed or that you’ve been treated unfairly.
Whether you have been left or you’ve decided to leave, whether the divorce is amicable or adversarial, whether you never see your ex-spouse again or you must see them because of your children, you may find yourself stricken by the anger of separation and divorce. You might even feel that you will never heal from this wound.
As Wallerstein & Blakeslee wrote “In years after divorce, anger can last, anger can intensify, anger can corrupt, anger can be refueled. Anger can also be walled off so it cannot sill into the present. And anger can be resolved” (1971). Wallerstein research showed that the major factor contributing to lasting anger was the tendency to hold on to and replay hurts and grievances over and over and not let them go.
To protect your children and yourself after a divorce, it is vital that you manage and eventually resolve your anger.
A qualified marriage and family therapist can help you understand and gain control over your feelings of anger, humiliation and loss. Your body can also recover from the sleeplessness, the inability to concentrate, the forgetfulness, the fatigue and all the rest. If you are experiencing any of the symptoms listed, contact a qualified marriage and family therapist to help you on the journey of healing both your mind and body.
San Diego Couples and Family Therapy provides counseling in the convenient area of Sorrento Valley Road. We also serve the surrounding areas of La Jolla, UTC San Diego, Rancho Santa Fe, Rancho Bernardo, Rancho Penasquitos, Poway and Escondido.