Developing healthy boundaries
Robert Frost said, “Good fences make good neighbors”. Learning to establish healthy boundaries is liberating, fostering independence and wholeness. When both partners enter a relationship with strong, yet flexible boundaries, true intimacy and equality thrive.
Examples of healthy and unhealthy boundaries in couples:
Example of healthy boundaries:
- Feeling like your own person
- Responsibility for your own happiness
- Balanced togetherness and separateness
- Maintaining friendships outside the relationship
- Achieving intimacy through open honest communication
- Commitment and respect for differences
Examples of unhealthy boundaries in couples:
- Feeling incomplete without your partner
- Relying on your partners for happiness
- A strong togetherness or lack of it
- Difficulty in establishing and maintaining friendships with others.
- Focusing on the worst qualities of the partner
- Using substances for false intimacy
- Game playing, unwillingness to listen, manipulation.
- Jealousy, relationship addiction or lack of commitment
Remember, marriage counseling or couples therapy can be instrumental in helping you identify and develop healthy boundaries, ensuring a fulfilling and lasting relationship.
Dr. Baya Mebarek, Psy.D.,LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping couples strengthen their relationships. Based in San Diego and providing online therapy throughout California, she specializes in couples therapy, marriage counseling, premarital counseling, affair recovery, communication and conflict, emotional disconnection, and rebuilding trust. Her integrative approach draws on research-based relationship strategies, attachment-informed therapy, and a deep understanding of the emotional patterns that can leave couples feeling hurt, misunderstood, or disconnected.
