What makes marriage work?
Marriage is a complex journey! It is surely not for the faint hearted. It takes courage, determination, and resiliency to maintain a long-lasting relationship. So, what makes marriage work? What makes a marriage sail smoothly through troubled waters?
Happy marriages are based on a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company. This couples tend to know each other intimately. They know each other’s likes, dislikes, personality quirks, each other hopes and dreams, they have a genuine respect for one another, express affection in big and/or little ways daily. They also find ways to stay connected even when their lives get busy or they get more stressed out.
They, for example, talk frequently on the phone during the day, they are thoughtful and remember to ask about important things that matter to their partner that day. They will join their partner to a function or an activity they don’t necessarily appreciate to support and be with their partner. Through small but important ways they maintain the maintain the friendship that is the foundation for their love.
As a result, their marriage is far more passionate that couples who fall out of touch with their partner in their daily lives. Friendship fuels the flames of romance. It protects the you against feeling hostile, argumentative, toward your spouse. It helps you deal with inevitable arguments and irritations with grace and respect.
Marriage counseling, Couples Therapy, Relationship Therapy may well help you develop the skills you need to save your marriage.
Baya Mebarek, Psy.D., LMFT