Thoughts & Anxiety | San Diego Couples & Family Therapy

Often depressed teenagers and/or adults spend hours dwelling and ruminating on the negative and fearful thoughts. Instead, your focus and attention needs to be on the positive, the good, and on thoughts that will move you in the right direction. The reality is that you amplify what you focus on.

You can choose to pay attention to the positive. If instead you choose to ruminate on your past experiences, over-analyzing them, and relive the feelings you had then you will only reinforce those feelings. Focus on the good (the wisdom you acquired through the past experiences), the positive (the problem solving skills you learned, the character you developed), and the beautiful (for example the relationship you developed and/or strengthened) etc….

A joyful person lives fully in the present, plans for the future (with flexibility and peace knowing that things can change) and has the wisdom to accept that they cannot change the past but they can learn from it.

The thoughts you choose to dwell on are thoughts you are choosing to reinforce – as well as the emotions that go along with them. So choose the thoughts you will entertain carefully! Even though you don’t feel it, you have more power over your thoughts than you think. If you developed the habit of spiraling down into rumination and despair there is hope. You can get control of your thoughts.

A Cognitive-behavioral therapist can teach you the skills you need to move away from anxiety and depression. When your thoughts begin to change, you will feel better. When you start acting differently despite your feelings, your beliefs and emotions will follow behind.

There are things in life that are outside your control. But you can control your thoughts. This is your life and you can decide to live it well. You can decide how you are going to handle your life circumstances. You can choose to think that you are a victim of your circumstances then your emotions and feelings will follow that thought, and you will feel powerless and hopeless. Or you can choose to think that you are capable of enjoying the good times and to problem solve and manage and/or overcome the adversity or challenges that are present in your life.

Your automatic negative thoughts are only thoughts that you’ve focused on for so long that they’ve grown and became larger. So now you believe you have no control over them. It is not true though. If you are coached to focus on newly constructive, positive, thoughts they will grow stronger and you will regain control over your thinking. You may also need to stop thinking too much, take a step, and just do something sensible to solve and/or overcome your problem.

So stop dwelling on self-limiting and self-defeating thoughts. If they come to your mind uninvited, notice them, and choose to let them go. You have I have better things to do than dwelling on them!

Dr. Baya Mebarek, LMFT

San Diego Couples & Family Therapy
www.sandiegofamilytherapy.net

We provide counseling in the convenient area of Sorrento Valley Road.

We also serve the surrounding areas of La Jolla, UTC San Diego, Del Mar, University City, Rancho Santa Fe, Rancho Bernardo, Rancho Penasquitos, Poway and Escondido.

Dr. Baya Mebarek

Dr. Baya Mebarek is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California. She specializes in couple therapy, pre-marital therapy, and in the treatment of children, adolescents, adults, couples and families dealing with depression.

17:44 09 Mar 23

Dr. Baya Mebarek is an exceptional therapist who has helped my wife and me rediscover our marriage's love. When we first came to her, we struggled with communication issues, and it seemed like we were constantly at odds with each other. Dr. Mebarek was incredibly patient and understanding, creating a safe space to express our feelings and concerns without fear of judgment.Dr. Mebarek gave us practical tools and techniques to improve communication and deepen our connection. She helped us see that our differences were not weaknesses but strengths that complemented each other. Through her guidance, we understood each other's needs and perspectives better, which brought us closer together.One of the most significant changes we experienced was learning how to listen actively to each other. Dr. Mebarek taught us how to communicate more effectively by paraphrasing and validating each other's feelings, which helped us to avoid misunderstandings and arguments.We are so grateful to Dr. Mebarek for helping us to save our marriage. She is a knowledgeable, compassionate, and insightful therapist who truly cares about her client's well-being. Thanks to her guidance, we now have a stronger and more loving relationship than ever before. We highly recommend her to anyone seeking to improve their relationship.

15:59 07 Dec 22

It’s always said that it takes two people to make a relationship work. Reality is that it takes three people. Dr Baya has been able to consistently keep our marriage on track sometimes the things that we go in with seems so difficult and so damaging and yet when we leave it all seems so small in the bigger picture. We have been going to her for over two years and I credit, her expertise in the field of marriage counseling for the reason my marriage is not only still existing but much better than it would be had we not started seeing her.

01:32 14 Oct 22

My now husband and I went for premarital therapy. She is absolutely fantastic. She is to the point and extremely intelligent. We both love working with her as a couple!

15:16 04 Oct 22

I have collegially associated with Dr. Baya Mebarek for over two years. During this time she has demonstrated a keen sense of intuitive insight, a highly-ethical regard for her profession, and genuine regard for those she serves.Dr. Mebarek is gentle and strong. She understands people and knows how to help them find and live their best life.I am confident that she does and will provide incredible care to those she serves, and will build and hold trust and therapeutic alliance, and will safeguard clients' entrusted and protected confidential information.

16:35 13 Oct 21

I would highly recommend Dr. Baya. We have been using her services for a few months now and see progress after every session with her. She is the first therapist we’ve used that we feel truly cares about the issues of her individual clients and listens well, but can also give great advice when necessary. Other than being a great therapist, we feel she is also a wonderful person and very punctual, which I always appreciate.

22:23 05 Mar 19

Dr. Mebarek is an illuminated soul. She told me not what I wanted to hear, but absolutely what I needed to hear. She is a seer & teller of truth, and will give you her professional opinion, which is like gold. I would recommend anyone to go talk to her in her cool & cozy office. She might save your life.

20:11 05 Jan 14

When you seek out a health practitioner, you want someone who is competent at their craft. Of equal importance, it makes a considerable difference to be treated by someone who is compassionate, nurturing, and has a grounding and calming presence. Dr Baya Mebarek is all of these things. She is genuinely interested in how her patients feel and is dedicated to helping trigger positive changes for a better mental, emotional, and spiritual well being. She is present, thoughtful and effective in her treatments. I live in SF and don't get to see her as often as I would like but I travel down to get my needed dose! I highly recommend Dr Mebarek.

Depression & Ruminative Thoughts

Dr. Baya Mebarek

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